Hawkward
by The Emcee
Summary: Tony drags Clint along with him for a few drinks at a bar. Eventually, Clint, being the more responsible one for once, drags Tony's ass back home and shoves him into bed. Unfortunately for Clint, things go from mildly amusing to awkward real fast. Light slash. Steve/Tony, Thor/Clint


Title: Hawkward

Author: The Emcee

Rating: T (to be safe and all that jazz)

Summary: Tony drags Clint along with him for a few drinks at a bar. Eventually, Clint, being the more responsible one for once, drags Tony's ass back home and shoves him into bed. Unfortunately for Clint, things go from mildly amusing to awkward real fast.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I felt like writing something funny and stupid, so I did. And yes, I purposefully made the title Hawkward because Clint's Hawkeye and he's quite awkward in this one. Hope y'all like it. R&R. Enjoy!

…

It was Saturday afternoon and the team had nothing to do. No missions. No assignments. No aliens/demi-gods/freaks to destroy/beat up/capture, so they were all just hanging out and chilling at the Avengers' tower. Steve was down in the gym with Thor, working out and training. Bruce was down in the lab doing whatever he did down there. Tony was, more than likely, down in the lab with Bruce, working on his gizmos and gadgets. Natasha was in her bedroom reading. Pepper was out running Tony's company for him since she was way better at it than he was apparently. And Clint had already trained in the gym, ate breakfast, read his book, ate lunch, and was currently lounging on the couch in the living room watching _Office Space._ Yeah, it was a pretty boring day.

He was strongly debating whether or not he should go down to the gym and steal Thor for a few rounds of hot sex when Tony came into the room. Clint turned his head and stared at his teammate and friend. They got along fairly well. It was hard for them not too since they both had a knack for disobeying orders and being smartasses. That being said, Halloween was always a fun time for them. So many laughs were had, followed by painful beatings by Natasha who usually got sick and tired of their bullshit. Good times.

"Hey, Robin Hood. What's up?" Clint gestured with his head to the flat screen.

"Watching a movie, bored outta my mind. You?" Tony finished doing whatever he had been doing on his phone before placing it in his pocket and finally replying to Clint.

"I'm bored as well myself. Hey, we should go out drinking. We haven't been out and about for a while." Clint nodded, liking the idea but recalling what had happened the last time they had gone out.

"Yeah. Yeah… The last time we hung out outside of the tower, Natasha nearly skinned you alive and almost made me wish I was never born. So, why don't you go with someone who won't let you get in trouble? Like Steve or Bruce." Tony sighed dramatically and leaned over the couch. Had Clint wanted to, he could have kicked Tony off of it, but he was feeling generous for once. And by generous, he meant that he was feeling to lethargic to actually do it. It'd be funnier than hell, though.

"Because Steve's busy training with Thor - something about wanting to practice new moves or kung fu or some crap like that. Bruce is doing research and when I asked him he gave me this annoyed grunt which made me think that, hey, this guy could blow a gasket some time soon. As much as I love seeing the Other Guy, I'd rather not have to tell the robots to clean up the lab. Or, y'know, build another tower." Clint sat up.

"What about Pepper?"

"She's at work, doing boring work crap that I can't be bothered with because I'm too awesome to be bothered with it."

"Natasha?" Tony's lips quirked into a grin.

"Fury just called her. She's being sent on a mission for two days and is about to head out the door right…now." Right on cue, Natasha rushed through the living room and made it to the elevator, decked out in her field gear and looking ready to kick some ass. Clint couldn't help but nod, a grin barely being contained, and he turned back to Tony, who had a smile on his face that would put to shame even the Cheshire Cat.

"So, let me get this straight: Natasha is leaving for a mission; Pepper's at your company working; and Bruce, Steve, and Thor are all down below, which leaves us to do whatever we want." Tony mulled Clint's words over for a moment before he nodded.

"Yep. Pretty much." Clint shared a smirk with Tony and got up.

"Hell yeah. Let me grab my jacket."

…

At eleven o'clock at night, Tony had had more than enough to drink.

Hell, he had had more than enough at nine, what with having been at it for a good while. As soon as Clint and Tony had left the Avengers' tower, they headed straight for the nearest bar. After Tony had had his fill of alcoholic beverages, scantily clad women, and reporters trying to get some inside dirt on him, they left. Tony had barely even been buzzed and Clint had decided that he'd stop drinking once he realize that the person hitting on him was a drag queen and not a really manly look stripper. He had almost accepted Felicia's offer for a hot and steamy rendezvous when Tony stopped him. After making a very noble point that Clint was in a committed relationship with a thunder god who could turn all of Manhattan into a bucket of KFC, Tony also made the point that the woman was actually a man dressed as a woman.

Although Clint didn't have any problems or issue with drag queens, he figured he had to draw the line _somewhere_ and that had been it. Nothing against drag queens or anything, but he'd prefer a bulk, massive thunder god over too much packed make-up any day. So, after Felicia left and after Tony started getting pissed off at that damn blonde reporter who insisted on bugging him, they left the bar and went to the nearest Chili's. They were hungry anyway and they were both craving chips, salsa, and mojitos. Clint only had one because Felicia had popped back into his head, thank for alcohol, and he had promptly switched to the raspberry peach tea. He was more than content with munching on chips and salsa while Tony and he had a conversation about the stupidest shit imaginable.

By the time eleven o'clock rolled around, Tony was well beyond shit faced and Clint was having a blast taking pictures of his friend and doodling on them. But it was time to get home. Aside from the fact that Tony had way too much alcohol to drink, he had called Steve's cell phone and left a voice mail, professing his love for the super soldier by singing a very horrible, very loud version of Colbie Caillat's _Realize_. Figuring that they had, at the most, half an hour before the Captain found his found, turned it one, and listened to the voice mail, Clint decided that it was time to go home. So, they hopped back into the car, or, in Tony's case, fell face first on the seat and then the floor, and quickly made it back to the tower.

Getting Tony out of the car had been a task. Getting him inside the tower had been a chore. Getting him into the elevator, out of the elevator, and down the hall to the bedroom he shared with Steve had been the main event at Wrestle Mania. Tony was loud, obnoxious, and kept giggling and trying, for whatever reason, to pull Clint's pants down. Not to see his goods but to give him a raspberry, which Clint positively refused to take from his more than drunk friend. By the time they had made it to the bedroom, Clint wanted to throttle Tony and tie him down to the bed so that he wouldn't be able to go anywhere else for the rest of his life. Steve sure as well wouldn't help him out, not when he found out that Tony had gotten that damn shit faced. After, quite literally, shoving Tony onto the bed, Clint turned to leave the room, his hand on the light switch about to turn it off, but stopped when the drunk billionaire called out to him.

"Wuh-wait!" Sighing, feeling tired himself, Clint turned and entered the room.

"Whaddaya want, Tony? 'M tired and I want to shower and go to bed." Tony sat up on the bed and tried, and failed to kick his shoes off. Clint arched a brow at the pout that formed on Tony's face, especially when Tony's brown eyes met Clint's blue ones. There was no way in hell that Clint was going to take off Tony's shoe for him. Take a bullet for him? No problem. But Clint wouldn't even do that for Thor and he was with Thor!

"C-Clint…" Stifling a sigh and leaning against the door frame, Clint watched his friend sway as he remained seated on the bed. After a minute of fiddling with his left shoe with his right foot, the shoe fell off and clattered unceremoniously to the floor.

"Tuh-tell me a stuh-story 'bout when you were a…a baby." Clint's eyes widened slightly and he began to laugh. Tony glared at him, but his drunken state made him look constipated and completely nullified the glare.

"Shut th' hell up, man!" Clint shook his head.

"You just asked me to tell you a story about when I was a baby. How the hell am I supposed to remember anything from that far back?" Tony rolled his eyes and toed off his other shoe before collapsing backwards onto the bed.

"Yer…yer thirty-five. And yer memory's better 'en anyone else's." Clint walked into the room and sat down on a chair near the window. Tony turned over in the bed and gripped Steve's pillow, holding it to him as though it were a life line.

"How about I tell you about when I was in the circus?" Tony shook his head and adopted a determined countenance.

"Nuh-uh! Baby story!" Clint sighed and ran a hand over his face before he leaned back in his chair. He was starting to feel uncomfortable. Talking about his past, especially his childhood, had always been a difficult thing for him to do. Not even Natasha knew everything, and Thor sure as well didn't. And yet, here was his drunken teammate and friend, asking him to tell a story about when he was a baby. Yeah, talk about awkward. For him, at least.

"Uh… Well. I do remember one thing that happened for sure." Tony grinned and giggled drunkenly.

"I knew it!"

"Yeah, yeah. You're a genius. Anyway, it's not a very long story, but here it goes." Clint cleared his throat and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"When I was really small, maybe two or three, my…my parents took me to the hospital. One of my grandmas had just had a heart attack and, uh, she was recuperating in the hospital. So, we went to go and see her." Tony blinked at him slowly, but remained silent. Clint's hands shook and he joined them together to try and stop the shaking. He hated thinking too much about his past; the memories were too ugly and painful for him to think about too long. Talking about them with anyone wasn't a very fun experience. Talking about them with a drunk Tony Stark was just fucking awkward and uncomfortable as hell.

"Well, when we…when we got to the…uh, the hospital room, she was hooked up to all of these strange looking machines and stuff. Everything was so…so intense, so serious. Hardly anyone talked, but Grandma was still awake and she knew that we were there. Her lunch tray was laying in front of her and I…heh, I asked her if I could have her pudding." Clint swallowed, still able to recall the memory even though it had been decades since it had occurred. He took a deep breath and was about to continue when he heard the sounds of soft snoring resonating in the room. Looking up, he saw that Tony was fast asleep in the bed, his body looking completely relaxed and care free. Laughing in an almost broken tone to himself, Clint scratched his head and stood up. Perhaps it was because there was still alcohol in his system, but Clint felt as though he could just break down and cry. It was such an old memory, certainly not the worst one he had, but it brought to him such a sense of loss and pain that he felt that the only way to get rid of it was to cry. Yeah, he was still kind of drunk.

Making his way towards the door, Clint looked at Tony for a moment and contemplated kicking him. It'd hurt and it'd make him feel better, but that was childish and mean and he wasn't going to do that to a drunk and sleeping Tony. He'd wait until he was awake and hung over. Leaving the bedroom, Clint started walking down the hall and was relieved to see Steve approaching the room. As soon as the Captain's eyes met his, Steve jogged up to him, looking concerned, yet resigned.

"He asleep in the bedroom?" Clint nodded.

"Yup. Passed out like a baby with your pillow clutched to his chest." Steve nodded and looked relieved.

"I hope you guys had fun. It sounded to me as though you did." Steve held up his phone and shook his head, his cheeks tinted a slight pink. Clint laughed at the memory.

"Yeah. I'll have to show you the pictures I doodled on." Steve grinned and laughed along with him.

"Sounds good to me. Hey, get some rest, soldier. You look like you could use it. Especially after going out drinking with Tony." Clint agreed whole heartedly with him and walked towards the elevator. He planned on heading up to the floor he shared with Thor, taking a couple of Tylenol, and taking a nice, hot shower, complete with sex, with his boyfriend. He needed it after the night he had.


End file.
